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Correct usage of language is everything in PR

May 18, 2011

Here’s a bit of fun for all of the wordsmiths out there. Even if you’ve seen all or part of this before, it’s a good way to remind yourself why English is so hard to learn and even harder to use correctly!

Let’s face it: English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
And while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn’t canine.

English muffins were not invented in England
Nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies
While sweetbreads, which aren’s sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted
But if we explore its paradoxes
We find that quicksand can work slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of “tooth” is “teeth”, why isn’t the plural of “booth”, “beeth”?
One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
One mouse, 2 mice.
One house, 2 hice?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck or car, and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day,
and cold as hell on another day?

When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out.
An alarm clock goes off by going on.

You get in and out of a car,
yet you get on and off a bus.

When the stars are out, they are visible.
But when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it
But when I wind up this note, I end it?

English is a crazy language.
It doesn’t know if it is coming or going!!!

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